About the loss of Beverly……………

It is hard to say how important my quiltmaking life was to me during the illness and death of my sister. I would come home from her house and just lose myself in my studio. During those months I was mostly working on two quilts that were both completed a short time before she died. One was Kaleidostar. It was a happy quilt, and the last quilt of mine that I showed her. The other quilt was Stages and I could not bear to show her that one. I call it my grief quilt. It was a hand quilted and stitched, mostly whole cloth quilt made from fabrics that I had hand-dyed. In the last weeks of her life I would come home and just sit and stitch with not much of a plan and as I stitched a face appeared and I highlighted that face and called it Grief. My head and heart worked through much of that process while I worked on this piece.

The following are some things I wrote after my sister, Beverly, died in 1999.

First is the addition to my standard Artist Statement that you see earlier in this section and describes the events leading up to an exhibition that I was working on at the time she died and was dedicated to her memory.

Next, are excerpts from the dedication that I wrote and posted at the Crossroads exhibit.

The third section is the eulogy that I wrote that was read by the minister at the end of her memorial service. That service was very inspirational with five women giving eulogies that spoke to different facets of Beverly’s life as a woman, lawyer, judge, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, patient, social worker, and friend.

Addition to Artist Statement

included as part of Artist Statement at
"CROSSROADS: Recent Quilts by Barbara Oliver Hartman
April 17 – May 21, 1999

Within weeks of making arrangements to produce this exhibition, a family crisis arose that has tested every fiber of my being.

For nearly all of the year and a half I prepared for this show, my younger sister, Beverly was battling melanoma and fighting for her life. Working on the quilts for this exhibition truly saved my life or so it seemed. It was something to focus on, to redirect feelings and the process became therapy. It was something tangible to cling to while Beverly’s life slipped away like smoke through our fingers.

The work became my life preserver, the diversion I so needed. This exhibition was a gift and came at to me at the intersection between life and death, at the Crossroads.

Beverly Oliver Forshey

Excerpts from
"Crossroads" Dedication

From an early age, Beverly displayed the traits we all have loved about her…. sense of humor, honesty, loyalty, kindness, and thoughtfulness.

After high school in Arizona, Beverly migrated to Texas to attend Abilene Christian University. Always full of hope and idealism, she stayed in Abilene after graduation and became a social worker.

After a few years of social work, she felt a need to take her advocacy for kids to another level and decided to go to law school. Beverly loved kids!!!!

Beverly met her true love, Bobby in law school and they were married after graduation. She became an assistant District Attorney in Wichita Falls and later found her way to the District Attorney’s office in Tarrant County in the Crimes Against Children Unit.. In the Tarrant County CPS office she was known for holding the record for the fastest return of a favorable jury verdict……..20 minutes.

In 1993, Beverly was diagnosed with malignant melanoma in the form of a small mole on her lower leg. After surgery we were all hopeful for a complete recovery.

In 1995 she became the Associate Judge of the 325 th Family Court.. Chosen over 30 applicants, her expertise in family dynamics and children’s issues made her perfect for the job.

In the fall of 1997, the cancer returned and we learned shortly thereafter that it had spread to her brain and spine.

It was an incredible experience to have a little sister that thought you were wonderful. She was such a big fan always wanting to see my work and was with me and so proud while I worked on pieces for this exhibition. She wanted to know my progress daily.

So many were so lucky to have had Beverly in their lives. She was such an inspiration to her family and friends and when Judge Judith Wells spoke at her memorial service, she said that hundreds of children were benefited by Beverly’s service and that the children of Texas have lost one of their most dedicated advocates.

This exhibition is dedicated to the memory of Beverly Oliver Forshey, a person that truly made a difference.

Eulogy

Beverly (left) with our Mom, Frances Oliver, on the day that she was sworn in as Associate Judge of the 325th Family Court

Beverly Oliver Forshey (1951 - 1999)

From the very beginning, Beverly was the Crown Jewel of our family. She came into the life of parents who longed for more children and an eight-year-old girl who wanted a brother or sister like all the other kids.

It was clear from the start, what a special person she was-----smart as she could be and a giggle that tickled your heart.

We were all in love with her but our Dad was especially smitten. Every evening they laughed and played while eating popcorn and watching TV.

From an early age, Beverly displayed the traits we all have loved about her----her sense of humor, honesty, loyalty, kindness, and thoughtfulness.

As a little girl, she received an allowance of $.50 per week and from that sum she saved enough to buy her family and friends a gift for birthdays and Christmas-----each item carefully chosen and always special and she continued to do this throughout her life.

In my teen years, she always managed to embarrass and harass me as is required of little sisters.

In her teen years, we had many adventures and learned many things from each other. She loved rock ‘n roll and when she was 14, I took her to see the Beatles. A year or two later, she taught me the fine art of TP. On our way to decorate a neighbor’s house in the middle of the night, we speculated that since I was an adult that it could be trouble for me if caught. The thought passed quickly and we did it anyway, and a fine job, too.

Beverly was the first of the family to move to Texas from Arizona when she went to Abilene Christian. My family followed a couple of years later, moving to Arlington. She visited often and doted on her nieces. They loved their Aunt Beverly.

Always full of hope and idealism, she stayed in Abilene after graduation and became a social worker.

She tackled her work in her own unique style; always doing her best in a quiet, efficient manner. Bev’s way of being able to get things done in a thoughtful and fair way has always been one of her many strengths.

One day, after a few years of social work, she called to say she was thinking of going to law school. She felt a need to take her advocacy for children to another level. Beverly loved kids!!!!

For the next couple of years, she applied to schools, arranged her finances and was accepted to Baylor. Because money was tight, she went through law school, attending all sessions year round.

We talked often and visited on weekends. One day she called and said she met a guy named Bobby. I started hearing about him often and then she brought him for a visit. Beverly graduated from Baylor on one Saturday and married Bobby the next.

They began their married life in Wichita Falls and she found her way to the District Attorney’s office shortly thereafter.

During Beverly’s life she has held many titles; daughter, sister, niece, aunt, cousin, her honor, friend, and wife but the one she cherished the most was Mom. For all of her accomplishments she was the proudest of her children, Rob and Claire. She and Bobby made a family that made her happy beyond measure.

Anyone who has seen Beverly this last year or so on her final journey must truly be in awe of her strength and character. Few could have endured but Beverly was quick to apologize if she needed help or wasn’t her normal self and would say she was spoiled and how lucky she was. Right up to the end, her face brightened when visitors came and she always asked how you were, how your family was and genuinely wanted a report. Even when she was not aware or in control of her actions, Beverly’s true character shined through.

One day a few months ago, we were driving to one of her many treatment or doctor’s appointments and she said “Weren’t we lucky to have had the parents we had. They were so nice and kind”.

What can be said about our mother, Frances Oliver. She has stood by Beverly every step of the way with strength and determination. Every human being should be so lucky to have someone so dedicated and full of love. Mom truly gave us all a gift and Beverly is probably with Daddy right now, giggling and laughing, playing, and eating popcorn.

Bobby, thank you for taking such good care of our baby. You had the toughest job of all and we will always be grateful for your diligence. Beverly said many times how loving and strong you were for her.

Rob and Claire, your mother was so very proud of you. I am sorry you will not know her as adults but she will be watching over you.

Beverly always placed great value on her friendships. She loved and was loved by many in her lifetime, from the early days in Arizona to the present and all of her stops in between------she will be missed.

We have all been made better by knowing Beverly. We were the lucky ones. Her family and friends were so important to her and she was so dear to all of us. We say goodbye to our most precious of gems, our Crown Jewel who will remain in our hearts forever.

 

About Barbara | Gallery | calendar | Lectures & Workshops | Contact